I cried hard for Suzie last night. It feels weird with just the two of us in the house, like someone is missing. I haven't yet brought myself to clean out the cages, though i should do that soon. I think i am going to give them away on Freecycle. I don't think i'll want another hamster for a few years now.

Today wasn't so bad … i was able to talk about Suzie without getting teary-eyed. I want to say a huge public THANK YOU to my partner who has been wonderfully supportive and understanding, caring for me and comforting me.

We are going out tonight: there is a geography lecture about satellite technology … something to do with tom tom navigators, i suppose. It sounds interesting, and should provide a nice distraction for me tonight, apart from Second Life! :)

Thank you to everyone who wrote supportive comments on my previous entry.

We buried Suzie tonight. I'm sorry i can't write any more just now because it makes me cry.

I think our hamster may have passed away last night, or if not, will do soon. We have been trying all week to get Suzie to eat, but apart from a few bits of grated carrot, Suzie has been refusing almost everything. We have been giving the anti biotics, and up until last night Suzie didn't seem to be getting any worse. However, last night i knew something was wrong when i opened the house and Suzie didn't even move at all. I could see some slight movement of very faint breathing, but the poor thing was so weak and could barely move at all.

This morning i saw that Suzie was in the same position and i didn't even open the house to look for breathing. I think, for Suzie's sake i hope that death came peacefully and there will be no more suffering. But i am sad, so sad. Suzie has been such a good friend for a year, so loving and docile. I really thought we could get through this illness and restore Suzie to perfect health, but now i am preparing myself that it probably won't happen.

I had a hamster before who i thought had died, but turned out to be hibernating. However, i have the feeling that Suzie became so weak and tired, this is probably not simply hibernation. I am sorry to say, i think we will need to bury Suzie tonight. :(

And what a beautiful day it is! My favourite season is here and it is making me very happy!! :D It's the kind of day i want to throw the doors and windows wide open and let the sunshine stream in! If only the neighbours weren't smoking on the balcony below …!

This afternoon i am playing a piano solo in a concert at my cousin's school. I will be playing Debussy's Golliwog's Cakewalk (though not nearly as fast as this!) My cousin, whom i teach piano, will also be playing a few pieces. I am looking forward to it, sure i will feel very proud! :)

I am about to go into town and look for a pair of ankle-heigh black boots. I am doing the unheard-of and wearing a skirt for the concert! The main reason i don't wear skirts or dresses is because i generally don't have the right shoes to go with them. Unfortunately there are no cheap shoe shops in Winchester that i know of … but maybe that's a good thing because it will stop me from getting any poor quality boots. I think Clarks are having a sale; i'll try there. I'm also going to get my eyebrows threaded, so a nice little morning of vanity for me! :D I am even going to wear earrings! I kind of want my ears pierced again, but i refuse to pay £20 for 2 minutes work … so i found some magnetic stud earrings which look just as good for £2! :) I think it is Second Life has got me interested in clothes and jewellery again!

Suzie was looking worse than ever last night … eyes completely shut and wouldn't open … but they opened up later on after we'd had a wash. Suzie has caught onto the trick with the milk drops covered in antibiotics, and now refuses to eat them! Bah! I had to get the syringe and squirt the medicine straight into Suzie's mouth last night! This morning i have just seen Suzie up and about pigging out on food, which is a good sign.

I hope everyone is having as gorgeous weather as we are here today! :D Have a lovely Caturday!

I went out for a run last night, quite on a whim! I don't normally run on Thursdays, but i hadn't been for a week, due to having a cold. I just fancied a run, so i did! :) It was a bit tough getting started again, but i quickly got back into it and even had a good sprint at the end! I need to keep up the training for Sport Relief on 16th March.

Suzie is doing okay … no worse but not really showing any great signs of improvement yet. Still sleeping most of the time, but i'm okay with that. Resting means healing. We managed to clean Suzie up quite well last night with some water and cotton wool.

Thank you so much to all the kind people who have been giving their warm wishes for Suzie's health. It really means such a lot to me.

We took Suzie to the vet today … good news is it's not wet tail. But the bad news is, it's a urinary tract infection, with the sticky eye as a side effect. Still, we have some anti biotics and instructions to clean Suzie's eye and bottom once a day with warm water and cotton wool. This is good because it is what we did last night anyway. Suzie was very good tonight and ate up the milk drops without seeming to notice that they were spiked with anti biotics!

In other news, we got a bookcase today! Free off Freecycle, from someone else in Winchester who no longer wanted it! Amazing!! I have wanted one like this for ages … good thing my partner was on the email and ready to reply straight away today … things like this don't come up very often!

Now we are happily filling it up with all sorts of stuff! :)

The good news is, Suzie doesn't look any *worse* today than yesterday. In fact, Suzie seems to be running around a bit more and looking generally a little bit happier than last night.

I disinfected the smaller cage and we have put Suzie in there for the time being … Rotastak is fun, but not when you're poorly and too weak to crawl through the tunnels to get to food and water. At somebody's suggestion, i have also put kitchen towel instead of sawdust – it's easier for Suzie to walk on.

Here is Suzie happily devouring the kitchen towel – it'll make good extra bedding!

The eye looks worse than it really is, because we washed it. I boiled some water, added a pinch of salt, let it cool, and then we used cotton buds. Suzie didn't like us doing it, but i think it's good that we did. We also cleaned up Suzie's bottom, which is looking a bit dirty. We have an appointment with the vet tomorrow evening, so i'm sure they'll be able to clean Suzie up properly.

Here you can see how painful Suzie's eye is … it breaks my heart, my poor baby:

My journal is likely to become preoccupied with talk of Suzie for the next few days, whilst that'll be all i can think of talking about. But just to prove that i haven't got a completely single-track mind, here is a nice picture of some daffodils i took at the weekend:

Yup, Spring is here! Winchester is full of daffodils and snowdrops! There's global warming for us!

My little Suzie hamster is sick. We've noticed for about a week that Suzie hasn't been eating as much, and hasn't seemed as lively. Now all of a sudden Suzie has a sticky eye, feels really thin, looks a bit dirty … it breaks my heart. My partner is going to make an appointment to see a vet today. You could say it's "just a hamster" but i feel like there is a little soul in there and i hate to think that Suzie is suffering. I do hope we can get some medicine or something and restore Suzie to full health.

Suzie as a baby, one year ago.

Suzie is back in the big Rotastak cage, the holiday season being over. I think i put more sawdust in than usual, and Suzie has decided to bury into it to make tunnels and a nice den for sleeping in. How cute! Food has been buried at the opposite end of the cage, and the little plastic house has been ignored completely, heheh!

The nice thing is, of course, Suzie has ignored the clock change too, which means i still get my cuddles just before bedtime! :) It's nice to think that somebody else is still on the same time as me! :D

We had a safe, if long, journey home on Saturday. Got back to find our phone line had been cut off – BT were doing some work and managed to cut through the cables, or something like that. Hence no internet, hence no update from me. But it should be getting fixed today.

I had a lovely afternoon yesterday, went to visit my friend who was looking after our hamster. Had a nice time discussing the wonders of the Universe and watching Harry Potter! Suzie seems to have had a wonderful holiday too, but we're all glad to be back home again! :)

So i am back at work, still wet from a downpour this morning. I may have missed England, but i did not miss English weather. Having worn short sleeves and sun block for the last two weeks, it's actually quite a shock to come back and realise it's actually nearly October and Autumn is well on its way.